Friday, September 17, 2010

The familiar guilt...

I know I have been MIA again and I am sorry for that. Life has been crazy and extremely busy. Today is my first day off in quiet some time. L and I have a busy day ahead of us though. Musikgarten for the girls in the morning, drop them off with the great-grandparents, go to our house and do some cleaning/straightening and sorting through the stuff we have left there to downsize. And then a Sunday School get together in the evening. Rest? Who needs it?

On Monday we had some problems. I had been planning for a while now to go to a restaurant with a friend who I hadn't seen in over 2 years. Since L at times has problems remembering things I had reminded him numerous times in the week leading up to it and also a few times throughout the day.

Yet about 2 hours before I had to leave L started getting upset. The girls were spending the night (something we had agreed on so he wouldn't have to watch them and put them to bed) and the realization set in for him that he would be alone for however long I would be gone.

At that point the guilt started setting in for me. A leftover from when he was doing much worse. I am happy to say though that I stayed strong and still went and even enjoyed my time away. I didn't let it rush me through dinner like I have allowed for it to happen in the past. After a few busy weeks that night away was what I needed.

When I got home things went much better than I had anticipated and L apologized for having gotten upset.

But this feeling of guilt is something that at times is difficult to overcome. I have gotten better at it but it is still there at times knocking at the door at the most inconvenient times.

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