through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
It has been my anchor ever since L had his psychotic episode almost 3 years ago that started all of this. I will not go into detail as I do not know if he would be comfortable with me sharing all the details but I will say that that night was the scariest thing I have ever been through. At one point he asked me to read to him from the bible and that passage is what I first landed on. After reading it over and over the first few times I lost track of the number of times I repeated it. But a sense of calm came over me as I was reading it. I still feel this same calm and soothing feeling now when I read it.
For a long time when things first went down hill, going to church was the only break I would get because I was too worried to leave him alone for long periods of time. And to this day, no matter how hectic the week has been, going to church is part of what gives me the strength to go on and deal with everything.