Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Letting go

Have you ever been in a situation where you have had to be in complete control of certain aspects that once there is the opportunity to let go it becomes very difficult?

That is where we are right now. L has been extremely codependent on me for quiet some time now. For a while he would not go anywhere without me be it because he was unable to control his spending when out alone or simply because he did not want to go by himself. For the past year we have slowly worked on getting him to where he now is able to go grocery shopping by himself and get actual groceries and not things he doesn't need or won't eat anyway. I have encouraged him along the way because I did not want him to be this dependent on me.

He has had no friends since we moved to Alabama in 2007 because of everything that has happened. Partly because he felt he didn't fit in, partly social anxiety and partly paranoia that people didn't like him anyway (so why try). The last time he thought he made friends was last year but those 'friends' almost led to us separating and took a big part in us almost getting divorced earlier this year.

L is now ready to try to get out into the 'friendship world' again. We both know he needs friends and that it is not good for either of us to be spending every waking moment together. Not to say we don't enjoy each others company but if you spend almost every minute of the day that you are awake together it becomes too much of a good thing. Again, I have encouraged him to go out and try to make friends.

Now that he is actually doing it I am becoming more and more nervous simply because of what happened last time he made 'friends'. I would never tell him to not go see his new friends. I am just dealing with some anxiety when it comes to this. Please keep us in your thoughts that this will be a good experience for both of us. He and I both need this in our own ways.

1 comment:

adventurer101 said...

Thanks for bringing up awareness about mental health and the challenge of living with somebody with mental illness. I think it is important talking about something not pretty like mental health. I certainly hope the stigma attached is lessen if more people talk about it.

Sending you good thoughts. Take care.

Popular Posts