Friday, August 20, 2010

Feeling lost

Things here at our home are rather difficult again. L told me last night that he is feeling suicidal again. Since he was out with friends we decided it would be best if he stayed unless the feeling was getting stronger. He was home by 10pm and we went to bed.

Being pregnant makes me much more emotional than I usually am so dealing with everything is much more difficult for me. L hates it when I cry because it makes him feel helpless and in a way guilty for not being able to change things. Put together my emotional state and L not doing well and you have a very difficult situation to deal with from all sides.

I want the emotional support from L and have him be there for me, instead of me. And I know he tries in his own ways but generally those ways mean avoiding the issues and avoiding being around me because to him it not being around me equals me not having the stress of being around him.

Our next appointment with our counselor isn't until next week and there is nothing available sooner than that. I tried that already. We will just go on the best we know how to.

5 comments:

Christy said...

saying a prayer for the both of you

Inside the Mind of a... said...

sending hope your way. i hope things get better soon.

stay strong
-Lisa

Melissa Mashburn said...

I will be keeping your whole family in my thoughts.

Bec said...

It must be so hard for you. I hope you can hang on until the appointment and that it does help.
Sending hugs your way
xx Bec

Kristin said...

The all or nothing part of relationships is tough. There doesn't seem to be the middle ground of moderation. And, it is impossible to explain the benefits of building a friendship slowly, securing time for family and taking care of one's own needs.
How far along are you now? Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl? (Sorry if I missed this info.)
xx kris

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