Monday, July 19, 2010

~Mental Health Monday Guestblog~

Today's guestblogger is Adrianne who is sharing her mother's story.

For many years, I looked up to my mother. Never saw a single flaw. She was and is the woman I look up to most. What I never realized in my childhood though is the internal struggles she had to go through to become the wonderful woman she is today.

As a high school student, she was prey to the saying, "If you can pinch an inch, you're too fat." It caused her to eat next to nothing and in the peak of her anorexia, she had one slice of pizza over the span of a week. She is an easy 5'8" and weighed about 110 lbs. The only thing that turned her away from that was an unexpected pregnancy.

As the body tends to do if one starves themselves, my mother then ate all the time, her body telling her that she was always hungry. She was comfortable in this stage of her life until she looked back and saw a picture she couldn't stand herself in. By this point, myself and my younger sister were in middle school. Because my mother couldn't stand the woman she saw chatting away with her family, she regressed again into anorexia.

She told herself that 135 lbs. was still not skinny enough. Any weight that she had aside from the basics was muscle, but still my mother insisted for less. It got to the point of my sister, father, and myself begging her to stop losing weight. We all loved the woman, but the body she was in was barely more than a skeleton.

At one point, apparently my father pulled my mother aside and promised her that if she dropped even one more pound, he would take her to the hospital and have her fed by tubes. That did it for my mother. She started eating again and althoguh she still struggles with her body image on occassion, she promises to never get to that point again.

Her final deciding factors? She now has grand-children she wants to watch grow up. She has a goal in mind for her own life. I'm sad to say that I'm positive she would slip back if she didn't hold on to these goals. My mother tends to have to learn things the hard way, and no one can tell her what she is doing but herself, but as soon as she saw that what she was doing to her body was truly hurting those around her, she decided it was not worth it.

My mother is more confident now than I can ever remember her being. She is not a size 4 any longer, nor is she a size 30, she is where she feels right. She holds on to those goals she set and continues to set to keep herself on track.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Thankyou so much for this post.
I applaud your mother for her deterrmination to keep fighting the stronghold of Anorexia.
I am battling Anorexia and have been for over 18 yrs now.
At one point, recovered, only to slip back into relapse.
I am not giving up and it was a real boost to read this story.
Much love,
Jennifer xx

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