I had another session with my counselor yesterday and we talked about this blog for a little bit. During that conversation she said something I hadn't thought about that way before. She asked me if maybe one of the reasons why I am doing this blog is maybe wanting to get respect and recognition for what I do at home day in and day out. It might sound like a selfish reason to write about these things but in the end, I do deserve to be a bit selfish at times.
When L is doing well he does tell me that he is thankful for what I have done and am doing and that he appreciates all of it. When he isn't doing well the complete opposite happens. I have been told to stop mothering him, that I am too controlling, that I am taking away all his freedoms,... Yet the times that he isn't doing well are the times I crave the recognition the most.
That might be the exact reason why in the past I stopped writing in this blog when things started getting better. I simply started hearing these things from L again. Until the next time things started to get worse again.
I am someone that tends to bottle things up when it comes to L. I keep things in until I can't anymore and I explode. This blog is giving me the opportunity to get things out and deal with them in a more healthy way. I am still doing this because it helps other people and because I want to help fight the stigma. Behind all of that is still the need though to get recognized in a positive light even when things are not well at home.
Call it selfish, call it what you will. In the end, all these reasons can co-exist peacefully in this blog. All I am hoping is that you as the reader are able to get something out of this blog.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
I, personally, LOVE birthdays. L, not so much. In fact, he could go without celebrating it all together (as long as he gets cake and present...
A twitter friend (and recent guest blogger on here) tweeted yesterday about the WI dance team that performed a 'psych ward' routine...
Today's guestblogger is Steven. You can find him on twitter as @EatsShootsEdits . He also blogs on his own blog 'The Emperor has no ...