Saturday, May 15, 2010

The moving talk is back

One of L's 'things' aside from impulse buying is the reoccurring need to moved. This need surpasses just being a want. The best example for that is what happened in September of 2009. We had been talking about moving since L finally had started receiving his VA disability and we were still living in a trailer in his grandparents' back yard. No decision had been made and we were just throwing around ideas when on a Tuesday night he decided that he was going to drive to Gulf Shores right then and there to look at apartments again. We had been there a few months earlier for a short vacation and had looked at apartments at that point.

The trip down there was not an option. It was a 'I HAVE to do this whether you are going to go with me or not'. So, at 10pm I dropped our oldest off at her great grandparents, explained what was going on and we went on the 6 hour trip to Gulf Shores. Once the apartment office opened we looked at one of them and no talking got L out of signing a lease. Three days later I had packed up the old place and we moved into our new apartment. We lived in GS for just 7 months before we moved again. That time with the addition of then one month old Little K. L bought a house that time. While I was obviously around for the process there was not much I could do to stop him from it.

Ever since any mention of moving has me extremely nervous. To me it seems as if he wants to move whenever things don't start getting better and instead of dealing with these issues he runs away from them. His own little utopia is living in Colorado where he used to go on vacation when he was a child. He is hoping to find peace there. Coincidentally, two of his old friends from his Navy days are getting out within the next year or two and are talking about moving just there.

Last night the moving idea was brought back up... We are in no place to move and definitely couldn't afford to move across the country. But that hasn't stopped him in the past. I am back to having to keep a watchful eye on him. It causes him stress and it causes me stress. For now it's just a 'Let's move in a year or two' but for me all the memories of past moves are back.

2 comments:

TheThingAboutDaisies said...

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with the moving issues. I know it's not easy and the last thing you probably want to do. If for some reason the Colorado bug gets too strong, let me know, I grew up in Colorado Springs and can help answer questions if need be. Though I hope that this passes and you are able to stay where you are.

Kris said...

I hope so too. As much as his family has caused trouble in the past they have gotten so much better about dealing with L's mental illness and I don't know how we would do it without his grandparents support.

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