Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Facing the dragon

As the caretaker (how I hate this term, I want to be 'just' the wife and mother to our little girls) in this family I oftentimes want to be the night in shining armor. The one that chases away the dragon that is keeping L locked behind the bars of his illness. This dragon is wreaking havoc on our family and causing so many problems. It has burned bridges L used to have that lead to his friends, has made communicating treacherous since it fills his mind with half-truths and lies and does whatever it can to disrupt our every day lives.

There are days/weeks/months when it releases L and we think we are out of the woods and have triumphed only for it to sneak back in and take control once again. It is sneaky and knows how to get to L the fastest. How to make him so depressed that he doesn't want to leave the bed all day long. How to get him so mad that nothing I say makes a difference. How to get him so removed from the world that nothing else matters.

That is the dragon I would love to fight for him. In the end all I can do is offer my support to L and to remind him that even with the dragon always looming over our head he is a wonderful father, a great husband and a son/brother/grandson everyone would love to have. In the end he will have to fight the dragon alone. I don't know who will win but I will do my best to help equip L with everything I have in order to win this fight. Together we will win.

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