I know I haven't said much at all about anger but it has become something in our family that has been hanging over our heads fora long time. L has always been easy to anger but in our first year of marriage learned how to channel it in better ways. He grew up learning that in a disagreement you yell and scream instead of calmly trying to resolve the issue. It was something we worked on and something he had made great progress in. Around the time that I got pregnant with our oldest daughter the anger started returning and not just in arguments. That is why he originally started seeing a psychologist. Well, that and his worsening depression. He was told he had depression and GAD (General Anxiety Disorder), put on Prozac and send on his way. The medication helped and things went much better from then on out. Until he got out of the Navy.
When that structure fell away, he started falling apart and the anger returned. I know he feels terrible about it after (and even during) an outburst but it just is something that he feels helpless against. Looking at him most people would not think that he is someone that struggles with low self esteem but I believe that it is at the bottom of many of his issues. The anger makes him feel bigger and at least temporarily he feels sure of something even if it is 'just' the anger that to him at that moment is completely justified.
Like everything else, this is something we are working on. Our live is just a work in progress.