Friday, April 16, 2010

My second session was today

I finally had my second counseling session today. I had planned for L to watch the girls again while I went but he had another sleepless night and there was no way I could have woken him up enough to get himself ready to go with us. So I took the girls with me. Luckily, I have two very well behaved kids who did really well for the 45mnutes we were in my counselors office (HOW in the world did I get so lucky???). I don't now if you read about it but at after my last appointment I had gone back for a personality test. Today was the day that I got my results. Not that there was anything shocking about it. She said going by the test my anxiety is pretty high (REALLY?).

While nothing was said that I didn't know about my personality, I enjoyed talking to her about how I am and why I react the way I do. One big personality trait I have and that carries over into everything I do is that I tend to feel very strongly about when I am right and that my right is THE right. Things tend to be black and white without much of a grey area. Things for me need to be rational. Dealing with L and his mental illness has been a HUGE struggle because of that. When he isn't doing well I have to constantly remind myself that he is NOT being rational and that I cannot EXPECT him to be rational. That's a tough one for me, especially since I tend to have high expectations of those around me and I oftentimes feel that L is selling himself short. He would rather not try than disappoint himself and others by failing.

A clash of personalities that we are trying to work on. My counselor reminded me today that in those times when we do clash that I need to remind myself of the 'big picture' instead of getting lost in the small details. So despite having my girls there the session went pretty good. I will be back in three weeks. Hopefully without my girls that time.

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