Thursday, March 11, 2010

Yet another new try at becoming a blogger

As I was sitting in the den with my two girls I decided to give blogging yet another try. Maybe this time it will stick? SO much has changed since my last entry. I got two jobs that I absolutely love and that are making me feel so much better about myself. My oldest daughter started ballet, both girls are doing a Musikgarten class, I joined a BUNCO group that meets once a month,... I am definitely keeping busy. Busier than I have been in a long time. It feels great though because I feel so much more in charge of my life.

The biggest change though is that within the past 6+ months Luke and I almost got divorced (twice). After the first time last August we finally started marriage counseling but that did not prevent a second 'scare'. The second time around we got much closer to ending things. The girls and I had moved out into an apartment the Monday after Valentine's Day and it wasn't until almost two weeks later that Luke decided that he did want to work on our marriage. How did we get to the point of me moving out you ask? For the first time since we embarked on this journey of dealing with Luke's mental illness he had stopped taking his medication properly and about a month after stopping them he felt that he was unhappy in our marriage and that he hadn't been happy in over 3 years. For all of us I am hoping and praying that this was the first AND last time that that ever happens. I don't know if I will be able to deal with this again.

For now we are doing better. I am taking things one day at a time and am just going with the flow. Who knows what will happen next. I definitely don't and I won't start driving myself crazy by worrying about what will be next month, let alone next year.

For now I am concentrating on my jobs, my girls, myself and working on my marriage. Not necessarily in that order though.

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