Monday, March 15, 2010

YAY for day two

Today went much better than yesterday. There were a couple situations today that had the potential to blow up but we managed to get through them rather gracefully. We even were able to laugh together which is something that has been missing in our marriage far too often. I'm not sure what Luke's random act of kindness was but I will just take him going to the library with the girls and me and making a DELICIOUS dinner (which was made from scratch and which he made up himself) as his choice to follow the dare. Mine? Still a surprise for him and won't be revealed for a few more days but I know he will love it.

Whether it will be part of it tomorrow and in the days to come, these first two days have renewed my willingness to try my hardest to stay positive and to try not to dwell on the negatives in life. I know it will be hard at times but it is something I need to do if I want this marriage to work.

While today was much easier I know there will be more difficult challenges coming up. Not just because of the challenge itself but because of life's circumstances. After all, old habits can be extremely difficult to change once we are set in our ways. There are many situations that throw me back into memories of similar situations in the past and that make me react instinctively. Both Luke AND I tend to make the situation worse than it really is. We have different reasons for why we react the way we do but in the end, does it really matter HOW we got to that point in an argument? What is more important is trying to work on the end result of that argument first and to then slowly try to intervene earlier and earlier over the next arguments to the point of hopefully being able to completely avoid it in the first place.

Changing old habits by substituting them with better ways and learning how to be kind to one another. Doing things out of the goodness of our hearts without expecting a 'payment' for it. These are the things I am taking from Dare Two.

1 comment:

Rachael said...

I enjoyed reading this a lot! I go through similar things in my marriage and it's nice to hear that you are working hard at making it better! I'm going to have to buy that book soon :) I like that you guys we're able to laugh together, thats sooo important!

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