Sunday, March 28, 2010

~Dare 12~ Let the other one win

I know I missed yesterday, I had set out and started writing a blog entry but then work got crazy and I just completely forgot. Anyone that came to check and didn't find anything, I want to apologize and thank you for checking without me making a post about having made an entry. :D

Now let's start anew and get to dare #12! The title in and by itself is a challenge to me. Letting someone else win? Not something I'm necessarily good at especially in an argument. I have my opinion and I stick by it. There are small issues a couple might disagree on like the next color to paint the bedroom in, where are we going to eat, who uses the computer first,... But there are also the bigger issues like where to move to, homeschooling or public school, going to marriage counseling or not... These bigger issues might not come up as often but some of us tend to get very stubborn and dig our heels in. It is our way or the high way.

But how do we deal with these situations? After all, we know that WE are right and our partner is wrong. The argument is going to continue and just get bigger until we are willing to listen and come to a compromise. If there are lot of unsaid and unresolved issues that becomes more and more difficult. We are less likeley to want to resolve the issue because it becomes about more than just the choice of restaurant for the evening out. It is also about all those times we were disappointed and hurt in the past. In situations like that we need to remember all the things we have learned over the past few days: love your SO just for being in your life, forget about the room of deception and remember all the positives in your relationship. If you do that it becomes less about 'winning' and 'losing' but about what is best for you as a couple.

Today's dare is to let your SO 'win' and to let them know that you are putting their preference first. (Just remember to not do this in a condescending manner. You are not just doing them a favor but yourself as well ;) )

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