Saturday, May 17, 2008

Looking back...

Back in November of 2007 my husband was diagnosed with depression and (GAD) general anxiety disorder. Of course that wasn't the start of the problem.

I first started noticing changes in my husband around June 2006. I was pregnant with our first and hormonal like just about any pregnant woman. But our arguments went beyond my hormonal outbursts. There were many nights that we would fight and by the time of the first diagnosis I had lost count of the times my husband was threatening to divorce me over something that had started out small and turned into something much bigger.

Then, finally, there was hope. He was prescribed medication for his problems and things improved so much that they were almost back to normal. Skip forward to the summer of 2007. Luke had gastric bypass surgery in June and was discharged from the military 3 months later. The stress from those two things and the added stress from a cross country move near his family who he has a love-hate relationship with and our house not selling made his mental health problems get worse and worse.

In October of that year things took a drastic turn for the worse. One night my husband again took something I said and turned it into a huge problem which turned into him sitting in front of me with his gun pointed to his head. Yet he still refused to get help because he did not believe that there was a problem.

Just one week later I had to call 911 because my husband had a complete mental breakdown. I will not go into detail because it is just too personal but I will say that he ended up handcuffed on the floor because he was a danger to himself and others. That episode resulted in him being admitted to the mental health clinic for 4 days.

For the first time the possible diagnosis of bipolar disorder was mentioned. They changed his medication and send him home. It helped. For a while. Until his old behavior patterns started to emerge again. Fights, name calling, and just the stress of dealing with my husband's mental illness and a child who wasn't even one year yet were tough.

Finally he realized though that he did need help. After numerous trips to the emergency room for mental health issues he was finally admitted again in January. This time for a week. His medication was adjusted again. And it seems to be working. For now.

But throughout all of this we have had to deal with many other issues as well. Whether it is medication, caused by other issues or a combination of all of this, my husband spends most of the days asleep. He will do well for a few days and go back to need this excessive amount of sleep. Another issue was (and still is) his inability to work because of all his medical issues and it is difficult for us as a family to deal with.

But I am thankful that our daughter is so young. Hopefully she will not remember any of the things that have happened in her short life so far. And I have faith that we can overcome all of this. We are finally on the right path and things seem to be falling into place for the first time in years.

1 comment:

Amanda said...

I had no idea what you have been going through these past few years. I am sorry that I couldn't be there for you. I know I'm not the best at remembering to call, or even e-mail, but if you ever need ANYTHING I am here for you. I don't care what it is, I'm here. I love you all so much!

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